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it faded

by krelboyne girl

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1.
u 02:13
its sad I’ve always left my heart open for anyone to walk on through its funny i left it ajar for someone just like you who are you? who are you? and I’m sorry i took it way to far way too soon but when i see what i want and loneliness consumes i grab on to anything the void allows me to and I’m sorry this time it was you you x6
2.
push me up against the wall clean the knife you’ve severed my skin with a couple of times hide my bones within the walls between the plaster and the floral wall paper your mother picked out make me fall like humanity, adam and eve hold me deep beneath this water im sinking, I’m barely breathing thought i figured it all i know nothing at all emotional insecurity find myself kneeling on tiles at three in the morning in your bathroom praying to a god that I’ve never seen make me fall like humanity, adam and eve hold me deep beneath this water im sinking, I’m barely breathing thought i figured it all thought i was smart enough to know nothing at all i know nothing at all thought i was smart enough, don’t know anything anymore don’t know you anymore
3.
i can still sometimes feel your hands around my waist can still sometimes feel the pressure of your kiss upon my face i still see you in my dreams, vivid imagery of your grace it still haunts the four walls of my life, the body you left to waste away you come and go in dreams like a boat always returning and departing and i am waiting at the pier for you to come back or disappear again when will you come back because your living memory is fading? are you gonna come back or is this just my reality failing me? if i knew this was the end i would have stuck around for it if i knew it was the end i would have tried my damn best to remember it if i knew it was the end i would have stuck around for it if i knew it was the end i wouldn't have started this
4.
wrinkes 04:11
there are wrinkles still in my sheets from the better times when you still slept with me ill get the courage to change them soon i think i used to have dreams used to fall asleep to your heart beat beneath my head used to count your breaths upon my neck so i had reassurance you weren’t gone yet you hadn’t run yet are you gonna come back? there are wrinkles still in my brain from situations closely examined loosely explained keeping pace, staying restrained memories I’ve kept, securely intertwined with my sadness you think its tortuous i guess, i call it self awareness there are words that I’ve left unsaid but i think that is for the best for these wrinkles in my sheets explain everything I’ve ever needed to speak there are wrinkles still in my sheets from the better days when you slept next to me i will change them soon i think ill change soon i think
5.
you said even good people do bad things the only thing stuck in my head is even bad people get their wings are you the devil in disguise can you look me in the eyes you said even good people do bad things the only thing that stuck with me is even bad people get their wings are you the devil in disguise can you look me in the eyes are you the devil in disguise i hope im wrong this time

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released May 31, 2016

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