1. |
isis
06:30
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2. |
our Father
04:12
|
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|
same roof different tounges
5 whole years doesn’t seem long enough
mark your calendar that’s the last time we talked
shattered glass, hole punched walls
your temper a ticking time bomb
court ordered visitation sunday mornings
no room for god the father when my earthly one left me
and how did it feel to be lonely in a house full of your genes?
how did it feel to sever our family tree?
crafting handmade birthday cards you will never read
forgetting mine all the time, cause the bar was your favorite place to be
coughing up blood at 5 am in the bathroom sink
hiding under my covers pretending to sleep
always worried the wrong buttons would be pressed and you would go and hurt me
how did it feel leaving your blood line for a drink?
how did it feel cursing, threatening to kill me?
don’t know what i did to make you hate me
maybe i breathe too much of someone else’s air
maybe the atoms that compose my body should disappear
i bet if you could go back in time you’d make the same mistakes again
and drag us all down with you in it
misery loves company i guess
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3. |
||||
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when will i stop trying to sleep everything off
and instead accept the fact that i fucked up
i keep pushing myself to the limits
and get mad when i have had enough
i can’t be emotionally available anymore
i can’t keep contemplating existence anymore
when will i stop trying to converse
with all these broken records
every things skipping and repeating
same old story just in different sequence
but i keep playing it over and over
like i don’t have a head on my shoulders
i can’t be emotionally unstable anymore
i can’t keep sleeping over anymore
a dark cloud follows me around
and ill stay close to the ground
so the next time kicking comes again
ill already be down
i miss connecting to you
and the way you would talk me out of every mood i found myself falling in to
i can’t keep starting anew
i can’t keep looking for a redo
i can’t be emotionally available anymore
i can’t keep contemplating existence anymore
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4. |
prayers
05:59
|
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|
running in traffic and drinking to help me sleep
i call this coffin practice, my reason for everything
i wonder what I’ve looked like these past few years to every person who’s left me?
i can’t even recognize my elf in windows or rearview mirrors
I’m just not myself, but thats been my excuse for years
i stopped talking to god when i knew he stopped answering
i stopped talking to everyone when i knew they stopped listening
always missing people who barely remember me
if times an illusion it is certainly winning
and if life is a game well I’m currently losing
so detach myself from everyone who feel something else
and learn to cope alone in bathrooms by myself
try to resist the itch of my skin and the desire to run as far as i can
take a backseat to life for a while and let loneliness soak in
i stopped talking to god when i knew he stopped answering
i stopped talking to everyone when i knew they stopped listening
always missing people who barely remember me
if times an illusion it is certainly winning
and if life is a game well I’m currently losing
and if the world is still spinning, well it has surely knocked me down
and if i am still breathing, well i don’t want to know how
stopped talking to god when i knew he had enough
stopped talking to god when i knew i deserved the lot
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